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Seduction and Speed: Mae's Unconventional Quest in Baldur's Gate 3

Prepare yourself for a tale that will make your eyebrows raise and your cheeks turn red. Yes, my friends, we're diving into the wild and wonderful wor...

Lauren Bergin

Jan 31, 2024

Seduction and Speed: Mae's Unconventional Quest in Baldur's Gate 3

Prepare yourself for a tale that will make your eyebrows raise and your cheeks turn red. Yes, my friends, we're diving into the wild and wonderful world of speedrunning, where not even the sultriest of pursuits is off-limits. Hold on tight as we explore the risqué realms of Baldur's Gate 3 in a speedrun like no other.

Now, I understand if your brain did a double-take at the headline. A sex-based speedrun? Oh yes, it exists! Since the game's launch, players have been competing to prove how quickly they can engage in some steamy encounters. But alas, Patch 4 arrived and threw a bucket of cold water on our fiery ambitions. Lae'zel, the object of our hasty affections, now demands that we "prove ourselves worthy through actions". And just like that, the ship of Sex%, gaming's most unexpectedly competitive speedrunning category, sank beneath the waves. But fear not, my fellow adventurers, for a new hero awaits.

Enter Mae, the speedrunning maestro, unleashing a salacious speedrun that clocks in at a tantalizing 4 minutes and 17 seconds. In the video's description, Mae boldly declares, "Larian tried to patch out sex speedrunning. Unfortunately for them, we are not so easily deterred." And how did our daring hero overcome the Lae'zel patch, you ask? Well, here's the delightful twist: she didn't.

Instead, Mae sets her sights on Minthara, a companion once confined to evil playthroughs. To win the heart of Lolth's wayward daughter in the game's first act, there's just one small price to pay: the slaughter of the druid grove. A minor sacrifice for record-setting smut, wouldn't you agree?

The run employs the jump-plus-feather fall combo, propelling Mae's character, fittingly named "Justice for Sex%", straight to the goblin fortress. By triggering the invasion through a conversation with Minthara, Mae bypasses the need for a lengthy combat encounter that would typically follow after a long rest. Instead, she cleverly manipulates the druids to turn on the tieflings, seizing the elusive Idol of Sylvanas nestled within the grove's heart.

In a skip so mind-bogglingly impressive that I didn't even know it was possible, Mae swiftly long rests, entirely skipping the battle. It makes perfect sense since Minthara's armies can effortlessly stroll in and clean up any remaining resistance. By the time Justice for Sex% awakens from their beauty sleep, Minthara is already there, seductively propositioning them, thus concluding the run.

Now, I must admit, Mae's time falls a mere 139 seconds short of her previous record with her fiery Githyanki girlfriend. Nevertheless, it's still an incredibly impressive feat. And let's not forget, my friends, how speedruns evolve over time. I wouldn't be surprised if we witness those seconds being shaved off soon enough. After all, this isn't even the only groundbreaking achievement Mae has accomplished this week, setting a new world record in Honour Mode as if it were a casual side gig.

So, there you have it, folks. A tale of seduction and speed, where the boundaries of gaming are pushed to their limits. Mae, the trailblazing speedrunner, has shown us that even in the fantastical realms of Baldur's Gate 3, there are no limits to what can be achieved. Join me in raising a toast to Mae, the maestro of unconventional quests, whose daring exploits leave us in awe and wondering what thrilling adventures await us next.

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